Tuesday, March 27, 2007
the tension and the terror
I am in bed right now. Headache extreme...yet restless as ever. I though i would share a couple of obvious thoughts that are by no mean original to me (at least i don't think so) about the Social Justice Conference that i was at this weekend.First of all i have to preface this by saying that it was amazing. loved not only what i learned but also the vibe of everyone there and just all that was going on. it was something special...something different that you don't feel very often but would want more of.
okay so lets go. one of the things i loved about it was "the tension". there was this awkward tension going on the whole time because of the location of the conference. this was not a bad thing. in fact, i feel it was good, challenging, and even helped in the learning process. for those of you not there, it was held at a church called "the meeting house" in oakville, which is one of the most affluent cities in canada. not only did oakville cause tension toward the theme of social justice (a city in which i have heard it is illegal to be homeless...could be wrong so don't quote me on that), but "the meeting house" itself is a multi-million dollar church building that is state of the art in every aspect. this is seen visible in every area from the projectors, to the movie theatre comfort seats [which i shouldn't complain about...(subbracket...i am writing this out of jealousy)], to its millions of dollars worth of other top notch assets. Not only this but the location in oakville is in highly commercial almost industrial area outside of the city, making accessibility to the church hard unless you have a car (which i must admit most do in oakville. (i must say that this looks like it is me ripping into "the meeting house" which it most definitely is not my intention, it is merely to prove my point of tension...if you want to talk to me about my thoughts on "the mating house" i mean "the meeting house" we can gladly talk...they are doing great things...and that was a joke about mating") wow i am off track. okay, so, i couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable hearing each of the different speakers having to bring up the fact that we were in oakville or at a "mega" church in order to not avoid the obvious. it seemed that everything they were teaching was anti where we were. teachings revolved around generosity, and free giving, and close community...knowing those that you are helping. this was crazy to me as i was looking at the hundreds of amps up on the stage being lit by one of the most amazing lighting systems i have seen. now this can work....again i am on the defensive here. the "mega" church can reach a community and can do it in a way that the small home churches cannot. as i sat there and thought about the resources that a mega church would have it is hard not to want that and see what it could do if used to bless a community. anyways enough about that. i will end with saying i love the meeting house....you go girl.
the terror is what i want to talk about next. this thought didn't hit me until i was sitting at my church on sunday morning hearing a sermon that i am sure i have heard 15 times already. my thoughts were something along the lines of "how can i walk away from the experience of seeing someone who "gets it", what it means to be a jesus follower ( Shane Claiborne ) and where do i go from here? i know that i cannot live the same, but where do i start the change and transformation. do i start small and build with the worry i wont get there, or do i go all out at first and worry about burn out, or do i do the typical christian style of balance. its mainly a fear of mine that this is like a classic youth retreat high, that i don't want to end. theres also the fear that it was so nice to hear the amazing stories and feel a part of them because i was there and that is good enough...live vicariously through them. then there is just the straight up fear of what could my life look like? shear terror is all i feel when i think about that. i loved shanes thought of "my conversion messed me up and i am still recovering from it". where do i go from here?
p.s. i got the title for this blog entry from a straylight run song.
Labels: Evolving church, social justice
Monday, March 05, 2007
So much to say....so little time
Thought I would start this post off with a blatent lie. I have lots of time but just suck at using it properly. Enough rambing though. So lets get down to serious business. I am now 1 for 4 with Roll up the Rims at Tim Hortons. I started off with a win on my first cup and have had 3 straight losses. I feel like the leafs.
